and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
