So drunk its hurt
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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