What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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