Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize