So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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