Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
We need to rekindle our bromance
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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