I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize