FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
