What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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