she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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