I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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