Can Purell be used as lube?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
