I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
