so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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