are you still at the devil's house?
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
