Even water is tasting like jack daniels
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
