Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
