Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize