Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I FOUND THE LEGS
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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