Dual....:-)
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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