Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
