I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
