I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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