Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Sorry about my life...
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
