roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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