pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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