Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
We had to coat check the pizza.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
