you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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