Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
