She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
