Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
He did a backflip because drugs
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