you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
