Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
