This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
