didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
