FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
i've created a new STD.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
