is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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