Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize