My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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