didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
