Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
