His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
