Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(602): View more from Arizona

OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now

Fav 6 1180 1021
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(309): View more from Illinois

She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.

Fav 17 3384 1369
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(229): View more from Georgia

You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru

Fav 10 4946 1486
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(917): View more from New York City

i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.

Fav 4 2892 2143
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(919): View more from North Carolina

I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.

Fav 3 1049 1620
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(308): View more from Nebraska

Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days

(1-308): View more from Nebraska

Are you goin to rehab again?

Fav 14 1145 1556
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(252): View more from North Carolina

Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.

Fav 6 1686 766
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(309): View more from Illinois

Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.

Fav 0 406 439
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(479): View more from Arkansas

Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.

Fav 0 12 32
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