wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
