you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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