guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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