i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
