I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Randomize
