Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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