her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
