u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
