Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
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