tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
this hospital has no fireball
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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