shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
