Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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