Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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