Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize