Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
