At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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