what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
