she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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