i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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