is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
