dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
