Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I would ride that face into the sunset
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
