do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
