Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
