STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
