There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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