I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
