Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
