His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
