She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
