Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
