if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
