You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
one might say we're banned from that church
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
