R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
