I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
