Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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