Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Drunk is a universal language darling
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
