tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
