chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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