My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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