You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
