doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
