it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You can't just leave with hair like that
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