The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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